Run #162 "Bonenkai Hash", December 15th, 2002
Yahoo! The last Hash of 2002! Shortly after 1:00pm a big group had begun to gather at Horita Station. We were all excited to get started. But that was probably less due to the perfect weather and more because everyone was thinking ahead to the big bonenkai party afterwards. After a very short explanation of the chalk marks and flour, we were off, about 20 runners strong, which was the biggest hash I'd ever seen in Nagoya. There were some members who hadn't been to many hashes in 2002, but it was good to see them there for year's grand finale. There were even a couple of virgins. I'm terrible with names, so I'm not even going to try to name everyone who attended. Sorry. The hare, Groper, told us it was a short course with only a little up and down, at the end. "Great. Sounds easy," I thought. I wanted to get the run over with and the party started. But there were checkpoints. And more checkpoints. And more and more and more checkpoints. I ran down an "F" or two, then gave up and just went straight, which turned out to be a good idea. For a long time, all of the turns were false trails. Then I noticed that some runners who were way ahead of me had turned around and were running back. So I turned at the next checkpoint and chose correctly. I was in the lead. Of course it didn't last long. Within minutes others came flying past. But this was the pattern over and over, and somehow luck was with me at most of the checkpoints. I was actually a little disappointed to see the "NEAR BEER" mark. It was a short hash for me. But it may have been long for people who ran down a lot of "Fs". It must have been a new Nagoya Hash House Harriers record for the highest concentration of checkpoints. Fuck you very much, Groper!
There were the usual down downs. But the highlight was naming two new members. Yuki Aoki became "Smelly Pussy." A very poetic name, don't you think? She got this name because she has a smelly pussy. Just kidding, of course. How would we know what her cat smells like! She got the name because she once acted like a "pussy," which means she was afraid to do something, namely drink beer out of her running shoe. We thought the reason she wouldn't do it was because her shoe smelled bad. But this wasn't the case at all. Not only did it not stink, it actually smelled very pleasant. Kind of like a fresh spring breeze! As a matter of fact it smelled so good, the boys kept passing it around taking turns smelling it. We probably would have named her something like "spring breeze" or "fresh princess" if she had drunk out of her shoe. But since she refused we had no choice but to name her "smelly pussy." Un-named hashers, are you paying attention? Oh, and, if I had to guess, I'd say that her cat probably smells pretty good!
Tomoki became "Suck Master" This has to do with two things: soccer and sex. I'll explain. He is a very good soccer player. "Suck" sounds like "socc" from "soccer." As a matter of fact he is such a good soccer player that he could even be called a soccer "master." He has "mastered" the sport of soccer. But that's not all. His favorite sex position is the "yacht position," which is kind of like the crab position with the legs together. If you use your imagination you can picture him as a yacht without the sails. (Personally I'd rather imagine "Smelly Pussy") So what do you call the thing on a yacht that sticks straight up and holds the sails? It's a "mast." So he became "suck master," a name rich in meaning and conjecture: suck, soccer, mast, master, and perhaps even masturbate.
Welcome to the Nagoya Hash House Harriers, Smelly Pussy and Suck Master!
The bonenkai was at a really nice restaurant, where had our own large private banquet room. The restaurant also had a bath. The girls went first and, while they were gone, Al Kanida starting singing karaoke. I wish I could report that he is a good singer, but I can't. He is bad. Very bad. Perhaps the only person in the room worse than him is me! So listening to him sing was really inspiring to me. Thanks Al Kanida. I now realize that it's OK to sing Karaoke even if you really suck. So, later that night, I sang a Karaoke song for the first time in my life! And, yes, I sucked!
The guys were next in the bath, and when we were done, the party began. The food was nabe. There were three kinds -- sea food, chicken, and beef shabu shabu. It was all delicious and the shabu shabu was gone first. There was plenty of beer, singing(some even pretty good) and a game which I organized. I'll try to explain it to you. Each guy got a banana which he attached to his belt so it hung down in front of his real "banana," if you know what I mean. We then stood in two lines, back to back. The game proceeded like musical chairs. The girls walked around the guys, and when the music stopped they had to grab a banana, but since there were less guys than girls, there was always one girl who didn't get a banana. She had to sit down, and was of course disappointed because grabbing bananas is something all girls really like to do The guys then did janken and the loser had to sit down too. He was also disappointed because having one's banana grabbed is perhaps the greatest form of entertainment on earth for a guy. The remaining guys then re-banana-ed, and the next round started. It got pretty competitive, and a was little dangerous for the guys to have girls diving for their bananas. In the end it was Chin Chin Para Paragus and Carrie going for last banana which belonged to Al kanida. I have to say I was proud to see that the finalists were Americans(which shows how enthusiastic American girls are about banana grabbing). It's also interesting to note that they are roommates, which makes you wonder if they'll ever be fighting over the same banana again someday. In the end it was Chin Chin Paraparagus who won with a diving, full extension banana lunge. And for her efforts she won the right to humiliate herself in front of everyone by showing how sexily she can eat the banana she'd just grabbed. For those of you didn't see it, let me just say that it clearly was not the first banana she'd ever eaten.
Happy New Year to everyone. May your 2003 be filled with flat trails, few checkpoints, lots of great H3 friends, and NEAR BEER just around the corner!
On On,
22 Balls Inside
Following message is written in Japanese.
あけましておめでとうございます。2003年もよろしくお願いします！2002年最後のハッシュレポートを書かせていただくというすばらしいチャンスに恵まれた２Lです。ラッキー！今年もたくさんのすばらしい出来事がハッシャー全員に起こることを願っています！そして新しいハッシャーがどんどん増えてくれることを願っています！
12月15日堀田駅に集合し2002年忘年会ハッシュは始まりました。参加者はバージンが二人。Fast Breatherのつれてきたビルさん、ユウキの友達、カンベさん。あと、忘年会だけには参加するNinjaが今年も裏切ることなく参加してくれました。15-20人が集まったところで早速スタート！幸い天気もよく、寒さもそんなに厳しくなかったため心地よいランになりそうだ。
Groperが心をこめて作ったコースは『チェックがたくさんある』とのこと。堀田だからそんなにアップダウンは無いだろうからチェックを増やすことでハッシャーを混乱させたかったのか？堀田の街中を駆け抜けていくと、大きな企業のオフィス前をたくさんとおり、レナウン、ブラザー…あまり今日のハッシャーには関係ないかと思いきや日本ガイシ…あーっとトモキのオフィス発見！(もちろん後からＤＤ）
走りつづけてとうとう金山方面に。怪しげな大乗仏教総本山(象が印象的な建物）を横目で見ながら三菱病院の前をとおる。私事で申し訳ないが今仕事を探している２Lとしては「リハビリテーション科」がないかをチェックしていたがどうも名古屋の三菱病院には存在しないらしいと判明。残念…。
しかし程なくNＢのサイン発見し喜び勇んでゴールへと向かう。熱田区の高蔵公園がゴールとなった。しかしコース手前の入り口から入るとショートカットとなってしまうというおまけがついていたので最後まで油断禁物！
この日5回目のランとなったユウキとヘアのアシストとバッシュへの参加を数えると5回目となるトモキのハッシュネームを決めるべくハッシャーたちは円陣をくみ、二人に素敵な名前をプレゼントしようと相談をはじめた。
ユウキは「NEW SHOES」で飲まされた際に口走った言葉「いい匂い」がモトでSmelly Pussy, トモキはサッカーを趣味とするということでSuck Masterと命名された。しかしSmelly...を命名された本人は意味がわからなかったのか、事実を受け止めたくなかったのか、なかなか自分のハッシュネームを覚えられないというパニックに陥り「セクシープッシー？」などと意味不明なことをいって事実を歪曲させようと必死であった。あくまで意味は「いい匂いの子猫ちゃん」である…と言うことで納得をしてもらったのだが？
小麦粉の洗礼を受けた二人は「早く風呂に入りたい」とのことで早速忘年会の会場へと歩いて移動する。会場は『賀城園』。風呂は1つであるので女性から先に入ることになった。男性人は女性のダシがたっぷり出たお湯でどんな気分でつかっていたのだろうか？いい湯だなーと風呂を満喫すると次は腹の虫を喜ばせるべく宴会場へ。料理はしゃぶしゃぶ、寄せ鍋、水炊きの3種類の鍋であった。テーブルごとに違う鍋がでていたので、おのおの自分の好きな鍋のあるところの大移動をしながら料理を堪能する。一段楽したところで22 Balls Insideが「ゲーム」を提案。なんとまぁNHHHにふさわしいゲームを用意していた。材料はクリップとバナナ。バナナにクリップを突き刺しそれを男性の股間にぶら下げる…男性の数＝女性の数-1で、女性たちは音楽が鳴っている間ぐるぐると男性の周りを歩き、音楽が停止すると、急いでその股間のバナナを取る…というオ下劣な椅子取りゲームとなった。そのバナナはサイズがあまり大きくないのだが、「俺はこんなんじゃない！」などといろいろ言い訳をする人やバナナを嬉しそうに揺らしている人もいてかなり盛り上がるのであった。
1人、2人と脱落して最後に残ったのは男性はAl Kanida，女性はChin Chin Para Paragus と Carrieのアメリカ女性の一騎打ちとなる。音楽がなり、二人はゆっくりとAl Kanidaの周りを歩く。さて栄冠は誰の手に？賞品がある…と聞いていたのでどちらも譲れないようであったが、勝負はついた！さすがそのハッシュネームをもらうだけあって、アレは譲れないのか、Chin Chin Para Paragus は生暖かくなったバナナを握り締めていた。
さてさて賞品はというとなんとそのバナナを手を使わずに食べるという「罰ゲーム」であった。バナナはALKANIDAの股間に設置され、そのバナナを食べるべく股間に顔をちかづけるChin Chin Para Paragus．．．かわいい顔をして大胆な！！
ずいぶん印象的なゲームも終了し、今度は少しシリアスモード。ハッシュの前の週に結婚式をあげたViagra and Silent Knight のお祝いをすべく心憎いことに、ちゃんとハッシュウエディングケーキが用意してあった。大きな足の形に赤いチェリーで「ON ON」の文字！みなの暖かい拍手に祝福されながら入刀をする二人であった。ハッシュを通じて3年間という交際期間を経て結ばれたほほえましいカップルは周囲の人も幸せにする暖かなオーラを発していた。こんなにも多くのひとに祝福されるのは二人の人徳のなせる技なのでしょう。改めて自分の行いを見直し人から愛される、祝福される人間になりたい…と思ったのは私だけだろうか？
ああ、うらやましいぃー。来年こそは自分の番だ！と思う2Lでした。
ON ON