Trash

Run #163 "9th Anniversary run", January 19th, 2003

What a day for the first run of the year! As we all gathered at Iwakura station, I was a little concerned that the rain wouldn’t hold off until after the run. Actually, I was even more concerned that I could see my breath because of the coldness! But as it turned out, I remembered my gloves, so all was well. Although, I was a little worried that my “Q-tips” might get so cold that they would fall off! Imagine that!

Anyway, a large number of hashers turned out for the Nagoya Hash House Harriers Ninth Anniversary Run! There were about twenty-five of us all together, including six newcomers. Thanks Suck Master for the recruiting job! As we checked out each others…9s, our Hares, Denki Dick and Fast Breather, passed out a bundle of six five yen coins to each hasher. Then, we were set to defend our concoctions of nines! Cheap Liquor managed to make it to the hash even though she was nine months pregnant and ready to pop! I wonder how she managed to hide it for so long? Miss Makeup came with nine braids and sporting nine different colors on her running clothes. Bill came with a picture of sukiyaki on his shirt. If you weren’t at the hash, please ask him how he managed to come up with it. I don’t want to give it away! Well done Bill! Sexy Babe #1 came with a tea pot (I don’t remember the Japanese word for this ) and a cucumber (kyuuri). Alkanida decided to turn his life around from a 666 to a 999. Demon came with a 9 on her hat. Viagra couldn’t make it, but Silent Night came with the Kanji for “uterus” on his face (which apparently has the same kanji for nine in it). On Smelly Pussy’s first run she came with a Q on her shirt. Suck master came with a sign with Nike crossed out and replaced with Nine. Groper gave us a strip show when he revealed his nine shirts. And the smallest hasher, Cheap Liquor and Groper’s baby, came with a chestnut? tied around his neck. I am positive it relates somehow to nine in Japanese, but I can’t explain how! And how can I forget…the crazy guy wearing all the hash garb! Slimie Limie made it from Kobe to join us for this hash! He pointed out that his nine was the “queue” he would be waiting in to get his beer.

Then we were off! With our bundles of coins around our fingers, we ran approximately fifteen seconds to the first shrine. I prayed for wisdom as I threw all six of my coins into the first shrine. Hey…nobody told me there were five other shrines on the trail! After the first shrine we ran for a few more minutes until the next shrine, and then we encountered a few checkpoints. The most memorable checkpoint was the one about twenty minutes into the hash where we all of took the wrong trail. The correct way was X’ed and the F was hidden behind a tree! Oops!! But it was　alright, we found our way, and we were ready to run and run and run! We went through an industrial park with a lot of trucks, and there were a lot of barking dogs too. After running a little more, I was pleasantly surprised to find myself in a forest running on a beautiful shugie (even if it was with Slimie Limie!) Then, about ten minutes later, I found myself at the next shrine—the mamakan shrine!! I never thought I would see large boobs squirting water at a shrine, but I did. I lost 22 balls inside, Slimie Limie, and all the other guys I was running with, in that shrine. I can’t imagine why! I picked up the trail again with Silent Night and we ran for another thirty minutes or so past Komaki Sports Center and to the next shrine. It was up many stairs, and I’m sure Silent Night thought I was screwing over the Komaki shrine because I just stood there while he threw his money in the shrine. I couldn’t explain to him why I didn’t have any money, so I just looked like a cheapskate. After losing the trail and having to backtrack down and then up the stairs, we found ourselves in another forest. Then it was about twenty more minutes and two shrines later that we saw the goal…but it was a false goal. I think I speak for everyone when I say it was just pure evil to trick us like that! We all shouted a quick “F*&# you” to Denki Dick and Fast Breather as we passed them sitting with warm amazake. About five minutes later I was literally at the pinnacle of all fertility shrines. There ahead of me was the largest penis I have ever seen in my life (but hopefully not the last  ). Anyway, everyone was sad Chin-chin pra-paragus wasn’t there to see it. In five more minutes I was at the goal. It took about 2 hours to finish the course. Hot Tuna and a few others had already finished and were relaxing.

About an hour later Sexy Babe #1, Miss Make-up, Smelly Pussy, Alkanida and the rest of the hashers finished the race. What a LONG ass run!!

The Count, Bushy Rider and H Eater joined us for the down downs. The down downs were pretty quick, but fun. Slimie Limie had to drink out of his shoe. Sexy Babe #1 had an unfortunate accident in a pile of dog poo. We were all pretty excited to go to the restaurant to find out who the Hare of the Year for 2002 was.

After a not so short walk to the restaurant, we were finally ready to find out who would become Hare of the Year. The trophy (masterfully crafted by Alkanida), was awarded to Miss Make-up and Sexy Babe #1 for the Seto Hash. Alkanida was asked to be in charge of Religion in the Mismanagement, and 22 Balls inside was appointed as International Advisor. I think this year we’ll be drinking MUCH more!!!

Dinner was excellent, the beers came in enormous monster sized glasses, and the food was superb. The entertainment was even better. Slimie Limie gave us a miniature strip show and led a song for us about what he does every day of the week. At about 8:30, we had to leave for Inuyama station.

Sexy Babe #1 and Slimie Limie were our bus attendants, giving us a sexually enhanced version of what to do in an emergency. I’ll be looking for their instructional video in the porn section of Tsutaya soon!

Many of us decided to have Hash Bash number two at a local karaoke joint near Inuyama. H Eater dazzled us all with his amazing Elton John imitation. Nice job fellow karaoke-ers!

Well done Fast Breather and Denki Dick. This hash was awesome! Thanks for leading us through the mamakan and chin-chin shrines. They are sights I’m sure none of us will soon forget.

On On
Carrie

Following message is written in Japanese.

　朝　朝日新聞テレビ欄　中京TV「ごくせんリターンズ」放映時間PM2:30～5:00まで。思いきりHashと重さなってる!!!ピーンチ、家のビデオ調子悪いし･･･
あ、ごくせんスペシャル版３月放映します。あのメンバーそのままだそうです。楽しみだね、Shinkansen！失礼いたしました。
2003年始めての、そしてNH3　９周年目のメモリアルHash！
テーマが９（きゅう）と言う事で、九、休、Ⅸなどで集まりに集まったDress Up?　DownのHasher達。New Comerも今回は６人（ひっくり返すと９）！そしてVisitorとしてSlimie Limie &Mother Duck！
各自テーマご披露！
Groper：T-shirt ９枚
Cheep Liquor：妊娠９ヶ月
Sexy Babe #1：キュウリ＆急須
Demon：帽子に９のラベル（手作り）
Hot Tuna ：腕に９って書いた
Suck Master：９型の風船＆NIKEをNINE　Just do jogging
Alkanida：ズボンのすそに９９９(６６６をひっくり返して)
Tanaka：Mac OS９のCDもって
Makino：パンツにQのアップリケ
Anzai：「急遽来るとことになりました」ザブトン１枚
Photo Fucker：九州工業大学同窓会封筒
Mother Duck：NH3休会
Carry：Ⅸを綿棒で胸に
22 Balls Inside：スキヤキ→坂本九
Silent Night：サイボーグ００９人形（とあともう一個）
Smelly Pussy：QuicksilverのT-shirt
Makihara、Slimie Limie、Chisato Tanaka、Tamiko Oshiro、Hasegawa、Makino：９ラベルを貼る
Miss Make Up：髪９パーツ＆９色
Fast Breather、Denki Dick：ゴール後披露！予定
今回不参加Shinkansen：球根を９個準備していたそうです。残念。

　いつもだけどAnniversary runは寒いし雪が降る？エントリーするとFast Breather、Denki Dickから６枚の５円玉を輪ゴムで通したものを手渡される。「途中９（！）箇所神社仏閣があるので好きなところで、参拝してね」とのこと。
岩倉駅をスタートすると早速神社が！もう少し行くと２箇所目、３００ｍくらいしか走ってないよ、こんなに近いなら、ゴール意外と近いかも･･･は見事に裏切られました。甘甘
３箇所目の神社を超え、五条川沿いを走りぬけると田園風景が広がっていました。
この辺まではがんばって先頭グループだったのでHot Tuna、W　Tanakaと､今回初めてのチェックのチェック、畑だから先が見えるのだけど、追いつけない。
のどかーな風景の中、新興住宅地の、カラフル、奇抜？な住宅に目が行く、Mother Duck、Alkanida、Groperと住宅の色の重要性についての話で花が咲く。（本当に有ったんだよー）
ミリタリーグリーンの家：たぶん軍事マニア
グレーパープルの壁：Alkanida趣味を疑う
木目調、高床式：Mother Duck床下でいいからすみたい。
サンフラワーイエロー：温かそうでいいねえ。今日の寒さだと最適、等々

　しばらく走ると、年代を感じさせる工場群？工場跡？自販機の金額が１００円とか、夜走ったら車でも怖そう。住宅地近くになり樹木の深いところを見ると･･･神社発見。お願い事は･･･Alkanida「次の神社が早く出てこないように」だって。
次の神社は･･･おっぱい神社、Can you ski?が一杯。絵馬も立体的。子供のようにAlkanidaが写真をとっていた。
しばらく走ると車の量がだいぶ多い道路、神社の入り口に来るとlong OR shortの分かれ道、shortを選ぶ。木が多くて、すごくいい。少し寒いんだけど、水分が多くてマイナスイオン一杯！？公園風だし、なんかゴール近い？･･･期待はずれでした。
さっき走る、と書きましたが嘘です「しばらく歩く」と巨大なドームが！？小牧市体育館だって、きれいで清潔そう、税金も･･･使ってますねえ。川沿いをしばらく走ると雪とも雨とも降ってきて本当に寒くなってきた、温かい飲み物が欲しい。やっぱりFast Breather、Denki Dickの「長くない」は長い！！！　ゴールは田懸神社？
御名答。半分正解。
ゴールは田懸神社の手前、Hot Tuna、Photo Fucker、22 Balls Inside、Silent Night、Slimie Limie、Hasegawaが飲んでるー。Cheep liqourとCountも！
「コースまだまだ続くから、頑張って」って田懸神社めざし最後の力を振りしぼる。入り口付近で（同じところが出口）Suck Master、WTanaka、Tsukasa を発見「楽しかった」とのこと｡ここでも田懸神社で巨大Dxckとともに子供のようにAlkanidaが写真をとっていた。
やっとゴール。Hareと同じく温かい甘酒（ちゃんと生姜付）を飲んで体を温めているとBushy Rider、H eater登場。ほどなくすると全員そろった。みんな来れるかどうか心配だったけどよかった。これで心も体もあったかくなりました♪

　Down×２は
・Hare,・New comer,・Visitor,・No hash name,
・Oppaijinja,・Long time no see, ・hat, ・New shoes,
・Short Cut,・Patagoniaなど
Fast Breather、Denki Dick：ゴール後テーマご披露！だったけど、つい聞きそびれました。次回（読んで入る人にとっては今回）披露してくれるそうです。チェックも今回９箇所あったそうです
そして二次会へ・・・（略）・・・盛り上がりました。
２００２年Best HareはS.B.#1とM.M.Upの作ったSetoHash！S.B.#1はAlkanidaお手製‘不安定ビアーカップ’（明和電機の製品とか、Hey Hey Heyのトロフィーみたいな出来）をもらっていました。

　次回よりMismanegement刷新。
Master：Groper→Piggy Style
Religious Advisor：Demon＆Sinkansen→Alkanida＆Photo Fucker
Hash Cash： Fast Breather→Smelly Pussy＆Suck Master
On-Secretary：Piggy Style→Spooky
International Advisor：22 Balls Inside＆Chin Chin Para Paragus
Old Mismanagementの皆さんお疲れ様でした。New　Mismanagementの皆さんよろしくお願いしまーす。

Miss Make Up