Run #185 "10th Anniversary Run", January 15th, 2004
Hello Fellow Hashers,
and welcome back to Al-kanida's (in)famous hash trash. I read what my successors have written, and it was good. But I'm sure you still missed mine just a little (always the modest one...). Hopefully, the beer beside me will help me recover my magic touch as I'm quite rusty when it comes to writing about these silly events known as the Hash.
Well, it was snowing in Nara on Saturday while Urinator and me were drinking our first beer of the day on our way to Nagoya. We were wondering were the snow would stop, and since it was cold anyways, we were happy to see that the white shit was still falling as we arrived in Nagoya.
Quickly, we met up with Piggy Style, Orgasm Phone and his girlfriend (#1? #2? #3? I guess that's what all these phones are for). We were soon joined by Kansai visitor Slimie Limie, Doraemon Pocket, Chin Chin Para Paragus, Demon (who went to a coffee shop instead of running, humpff!), visiting Mormon Safety Man/Unruly Rodent (or is it Safety Rodent?), and the Tokyo visiting hares, Miss Bean Abeem and Tight Wad.
With the temperature and anticipating a long run the next day, we asked the "live" hares to make it a short one, but as we would found out during the run and later that evening, Hashers from Tokyo have it all backwards, they are runners with a drinking problem.
By the time the pack of harriers set out to catch the hares, the rain had sadly replaced the nice little snow that was falling on Nagoya before. The hares led us through close and not so close neighborhoods east of Nagoya Station. Some checks were long, false trails led the pack on an overpass, no school girls in short skirt were in sight, and we were still going further and further away from the station.
The return point was situated in an nice park were a beer check would have been more than welcomed. My GPS brain kinda indicated that we were going in the general direction of the station, but in the distance, the towers beside it never looked to be getting closer. The night enveloping the sky, the marks become harder to find. We thought we would never get back, when, not too long after hearing the sound of taiko drums in a temple, the station appeared like an oasis (or blur, whichever you prefer, it all brit pop to me) in the desert.
After a quick change, a false trail on the way to the hashbash, we finally made it to the izakaya where everyone was glad to find warmth and dryness. Pretty soon, food was eaten (including crab so guess who had a down down), beer was drunk, and general mayhem began.
We started the down downs during the meal as we were afraid they might go up up on a full stomach. As Kobe Religious Advisor, I was made Religion for the circle as no Nagoya religion was present. Quickly after the hare down down, I gave one to all Nagoya hashers as they were outnumbered by the visitors (Shame on you Nagoya!! ;). Other down downs included longest distance traveled to join, no hash gear, long time no see, and others which I cannot remember.
Other funny incidents occurred when people tried to put on decorative samurai helmets, the waitress went outside the room to take our picture, and so on. By far, the crazier was peeping Tom Safety Rodent who kept taking pictures of the group on the other side of the partition without their knowledge.
When stomachs were full, we headed out for our ni-jikai. We headed to karaoke for some good ol' rock n' roll. Classic and not so classic songs were sung. Beer was drunk in amusing quantities. Tambourines were abused. And Slimie first dazzled us with his rock n' roll dancing with Chin Chin, before making us sick with his sad attempt at dirty dancing with Miss Bean.
Not satisfied with only a ni-jikai, we left the place to find another cool spot to drink. We went a place that was dead, but didn't bother to stay for obvious reasons. Tight Wad and Miss Bean Abeem chose this moment to suddenly head back to their hotel. Had they went to the same room, or even the same hotel, we would have understood. But it is then that Slimie and I realised that Tokyo Hashers are not real hashers.
Samurai and Tokyo Ladies members, despite their claims at being party animals, are not part of a "Drinking club with a running problem", but part of a "Running club with a small drinking problem". Here, I've said, let's move on.
Anyways, the Kansai group and Chin Chin headed to Demon for the night.
Chin Chin felt limp(?) asleep faster than a Viagra pill gives hard ones, and I later realized how lucky I was to lose janken with Slimie to determine who would sleep on the couch as the carpet was heated.
We woke up kinda of early in the morning with Slimie and I playing ass-trumpet solos, while in the kitchen the thermometer indicated sub-zero temperatures (that in celcius for the Yankees reading this). Luckily, outside in the sun (thank Allah!), the temperature was quite nice. After breakfast at a coffee shop nearby where the western toilets were abundantly used, we picked up our stuff and headed to the meeting place for the 10TH ANNIVERSARY NAGOYA HASH HOUSE HARRIERS RUN (round of applause, standing ovation).
After hisashiburis and yoroshikus were exchanged, nice facial hair admired, t-shirts bought (kudos to the designers, it is really nice) and pictures were taken (41 people appear on mine, wow!), the instructions were given by the hares, Shinkansen and Sexy Babe #1. The pack would first be divided through janken to determine who would go on the winners' and losers' course. The pack would then be re-divided during the run through ladies and men's courses, short or medium courses, and short or long course again.
As luck would have it, I won janken. I set off with Unruly Man and Hot Tuna. At the first check which arrived quickly, I chose the way onto the overpass. As we were running, the trail went into a small shiggy section, which returned to the street just after passing a porn movie left there (I think the main actresses were Sexy Babe #1 and Miss Make Up, but with the mosaic, I cannot be sure). Right after, we found the second check! Where was the On On? We would later discover that there were no On On for the entire course.
After passing a huge wooden chin chin (guess who had to drink at the circle?) and a near bee sign, the two courses (losers and winners) joined before entering a nice park. Chin Chin slipped down in the steps, twists and turns gave us many detours, and once again the pack was separated by the gender check. Some ladies were tricked into the wrong course by Slimie who added a "wo" to "men's course". Of course the transexuals and the perpetrator had to drink a down down in the circle.
I spent most of the rest of he course with Slimie, admiring some nice architecture, some fine piece of nature (uhh....) and some nice temples while on the medium course loop. We were soon joined by the group of four transexuals (who would have thought transsexuals would ever give me bone, I guess I have some unresolved issues). Before getting refreshed by the water of a temple, we took a little walk around a love tree: now I had heard about (uhh, yea, only heard about...) love hotels, but this was a first. Then came the shiggy, where inside the jungle, we had to defend ourselves against hordes of one-legged amazon pygmies and navel-fuzz-eating tigers.
At the bottom of the steps, we encountered the last check, giving us the choice of short or long. With the lack of sleep and the run of the day before, we chose the short one, only to discover that the goal was 50 meters away.
I guess the Hares knew the Kansai hashers well as black beer was available. Snacks were also plentiful (poor Captain Kohmon, all the Choco Pan were gone when he arrived!!) and hot sweet bean soup was also served. Discussions and picture exchanges then occurred.
The circle then began, and thank Allah was it good to be back in Nagoya were the circle goes on and on... and on... and on... and on! Here is
the list of the down downs I remember: hares, snow on the course (all the "Yukis" drank), porn (all sex related names), long time no see, visitors, hat(Chinko Manko), glove (Miss Bean, Slimie and Busta Seichi if my memory serves me well), new mismanagement (All hail new Mistress of the Night, Demon!), visiting Kansai in the last year but not going to any of the 5 hashes [by the way, don't miss Feb 29th KLYT(Kansai Leap Year Time)H3, a once in a 4 years opportunity, reserve your Shink tickets now!], transexuals, no hash names, virgins, toilet, and the list goes on.
Then it was time to name 2 hashers, a couple formed by a cucumber loving, standing-up-swinging-as-favorite-position-even-if-he-never-tried-it husband and his lovely touch-my-loving-ripe-tomatoes, swimming instructor wife. He was named "I've Been Ekiben" (as in eki bento, or also the name of the standing-swinging position) and she was named "See Cucumber" as she can see his cucumber every night (in the pool, standing up?).
We then headed for the hashbash held at an all you can eat, all you can drink place. Although the drinks were served quickly, the food service was a little slow, but the food was good. In return, it had the consequence that our stomachs weren't bloated when the anniversary cake was served. Some more down downs were administered, the most memorable being Shinkansen's Bond down down (accompanied by an international mix of bond girls, graoww!) for having shaved a 01 on his face: poor guy had looked in the mirror when shaving!
As our time limit expired, I down downed the sake, Chinko Manko did the same with a half-full pitcher of beer, and we left the place. Outside, goodbyes were exchanged before the pack dispersed once again, this time to their respective dog houses. Rodent Man and the Kansai group headed to catch the Shinkansen, which was almost empty for my inaugural ride.
It was christened with Chu Hai. Needless to say, my body felt like s*** the next day, yet I was happy as I can be.
Well, it was seeing you all again, or meeting you for the first time. A special shout out to the hares, Shinkansen and Sexy Babes #1, Miss Bean and Tight Wad for organizing a (long) pre-run, Demon for letting us stay at her place, and to the Ina crew for braving the storm of the day before so we could meet again. Hopefully next year will be even better.
On On everybody, and please visit one of the Hashes in Kansai: our packs might be smaller, but we still know how to have a merry Hash time.
Al-kanida
Following message is written in Japanese.
今日は記念すべき日、なんと名古屋Hashが誕生してから10周年のAnniversary Run。記念すべきRunはShinkansenの提案で「ひげRun」となった。また、そのスタート場所は最近開通したばかりの‘出来立てほやほや’の茶屋が坂の駅である。
ひげRunということで、それぞれHasherは思い思いのひげを蓄え集合した。自前のものや手書きのびげ、あるいはカトちゃん顔負けのおちょぼ髭.....etc. みんなひげダンスが似合いそう。そして、このAnniversary Runを祝うために名古屋以外からも多くの人々が駆けつけてくれた。大阪からは、Al-kanida、Urinator、Slimie Limie。海外からもSafety Manが。みんな名古屋Hashを愛してくれている人たちだ。ありがとう。今回のRunは、New Comer4名も含め、総勢31名のHasherで始まった。ヘアーは名古屋Hashを代表するShinkansen & Sexy Babe No.1である。さて、この2人はどんな楽しいコースをつくってくれているのだろう?
さあスタートだ。今回のコースはメンズ、レディースコースに分かれていた。さらにショート、ロングコースに枝分かれしており、かなり手のこんだコースが作られていた。歩道橋を渡り、森林コースに入った。この日はかなり寒い日であったので、コース作りをしたSexy Babe No.1は凍った道で何度が滑ったと聞いたので、少し気をつけて走った。この森林コースは緑が多く、普段排気ガスの中で暮らしている私にはとても気持ちが良いコースだった。さらに、自由が丘の山を越え、コースは自由が丘小学校の柵を乗り越え小学校のグラウンドに侵入した。少し危険な香りがして、なんだかスリリングでワクワクして走った。そうそう余談だけど、スタート前にShinkansenが「Near Beerがあったら、すぐゴールです。」と言った。それで、スタートしてすぐ「Near Bear」が書かれていたので、もうゴールかな??と思ったのに、ゴールはまだまだ先であった。このフェイントに引っかかったのは私だけではないだろう・・・きっと。さらにコースを走り、ゴールは城山神社の近くの公園。そんなに長いとは感じなかったコースだけど、ゴールしてみるとかなりの距離を走っている。長いと感じなかったのは、コースが飽きないように作られており、色々楽しみながら走れたからと思う。
そしてDown Downが始まった。こんな記念すべきAnniversary Down DownにてHash nameを頂ける幸運な夫婦がいた。この幸運な夫婦をネタに恒例の儀式が行われる。みんなからの質問に答える2人。「好きな食べ物は?」「好きな動物は?」・・・。そして、最も盛り上がりをみせた質問に。それは、・・・「好きな体位は?」と。この質問に2人は期待に答え、実際にやって見せてくれた。これには大いに歓声があがった。これらの事から、2人のHash nameは“I’ve been Ekiben”&“Sea Cucumber”と決まった。素敵なHash name、おめでとう!!
最後に、このAnniversary Runに参加できたことを嬉しく思う。また、この素敵なコースを作ってくれ、私たちを楽しませてくれたShinkansen & Sexybabe No.1に感謝します。
Crack Whore